Thursday, September 25, 2008

Time to blog

So its been 3 months and 16 days since i last blogged.
It seems like a lifetime ago.

Sometimes I wonder if I m the only one that feels like I m passing life on the left lane and everyone is just slowing down. Then I m sure other people feel the same way. Yet its just crazy. I ve met lots of people over the summer, got in touch with lots of old friends, but let go of even more. I guess its transition time for me.
Finishing school, finding a job, a place to live, a place to call home. somewhere i can finally let go of my shell and become myself for the world to see, instead of just being an actor in the truman show.

Anyways, I dont want this to be another blog full of thought, so I ll just let all of you know whats happened in the past couple of weeks.

I went on the Roadshow around Germany, where I had an awesome time and met lots of good people, who I hope to stay in touch with for some time. They ve given me a different perspecitve on some things and I keep growing inside of me every day.

I ve finally started my thesis as well. Its only up to page 31, but its still over a month, so I m on a good pace considering my normal working habits.
Then It ll be preparing for my finals. Wow, I m finally at the point where i know my final day of university. Its crazy, yet scary. You work all those years without a deadline, without any schedulde and then in the end it ll be over before you know and you ll be thrown out on the open job market.

I m currently planing a trip to Toronto, maybe I ll try to check out housing and jobs there after all, as it keeps coming back to me and I guess its where my heart longs. But you know things always change. But for now that s where I m lookin.

As for my family. I guess things have turned the tide and my family is trying to grow back togehter, as all of them went to korea, well except for me, but i think its the first time in a long time that my dad went as well. So maybe things are looking up, then again maybe not, cause not everything catches the eye.

On another note, I ve been getting more involved in baseball again, haha, more involved? is that even possible? haha, oh yes it is. Its not easy, but it is possible and I have to say on the one hand i m really enjoying it then again I m stuck in a position where i m doing soo much, i kind of wanna have more rights to express and to pursue goals, as currently it seems like i m giving, giving and giving and not getting anything out from it. I dont mean money wise or anything. I just wanna play a bigger role in what we re doing, but I guess thats not always possible.

Friends...i ve never had as few friends as i have now. well not since hmmm 11th grade? which is 10 years ago. I ve always been in the center of everything. planing the weekends and having like 4-5 options per night where to go to or what to do. Dont get me wrong. I m not such a party person anyways. Its just lonely some nights, cause there is nothing out there I wanna do. Its not cause noone is available, its just cause there seems to be nothing out there I really feel like doing.
But I guess things will also clear up when the MA is over, ok depressing again, huh.. hah no worries i m good.
It s been my own choice.
Plus lots of good things have been happenin. My two best friends seem to have found the love of their life. Another good friend might have found his first gf. So love is in the air ;)

My sister is probably pursuing one of her dreams to work in korea for a while, which im excited about.

One more negative note though before I ll let all of you go. I m just upset that I dont seem to be able to keep some people from makin the same mistakes i ve done before. I just wish i could make them listen and believe in what i m saying in order to keep them from doing what they are doing and running into misery.

So I wanna end this post today with a funny quote from the movie "Gridiron Gang" Good movie by the way ...
Malcolm Moore: You know you're an idiot, right?
Sean Porter: I'm making progress. I used to be an asshole.