Saturday, January 17, 2009


Today I wanna talk about a topic that has lead to a lot of issues in my life. Its called communication.

There are all different kinds of communication and even though we might be using the same kind, nothing will ever get to the person on the other side of the conversation.

For example you might be talking to someone, but what you re actually saying will never be understood. You might even speak in the same language but for some reason, it might be misinterpreted or just simply misunderstood.

So there we have the most common kind of communication. A simple conversation in the same language. It is most of the time connected to other kinds of communication, which I for time and space issues, I would just like to call "emotional communication". This emotional communication is often affected, by feelings and emotions. You might say the exact thing to two different people, but what the other person understands depends on how they perceive you, what their state of mind is and sometimes even by "what they want to understand".

Then of course it also plays a roll how you act when you speak. For example, you might change the intonation of your voice, you might change the look on your face, by smiling or just looking straight. You might look at someone or right by someone.

Then of course there is the communication, maybe one more important then using words. I just wish everyone would understand, that even without talking there is so many things that leave your body, to be seen by everyone else. As a friend of mine just wrote on her blog. "We dont see the things that are right in front of us."
But coming back to the communication part. It might just be a simple look, a simple gesture, maybe just our posture. It might not even involve movement. It might just be the way we stand or sit.

Its funny how in this world we have so many different cultures, religions and languages but at the end of the day a lot of our communication is still the same. Some gestures are universally understand as are some actions that can be perceived.
Yes then again there are the differences, where the same word can mean the opposite in two different languages. And even gestures can have another meaning, but postures, looks or emotional signs are most of the time the same throughout every level of the world. Different culture..doesnt matter, different religion..doesnt matter, different social status..doesnt matter. We are all the same after all and that should be an amazing thing.

Actually there is even more kinds of communication out there, but I wanna leave it at this for now and briefly elaborate on some issues, that can evolve.

So coming back to the regular conversation, like I mentioned often things will be misinterpreted and can lead to a totally different story at the end of the day, because everyone has a different way of telling a story, using different words.
And then of course there is this huge language barrier in this globalized world, where people talk in their second languages and totally misunderstand each other leading to anger, disappointment, fear, fights and in the end have the result of a broken relationship, a lost friendship or antipathy in between 2 people that listened all too much to those stories from other people.

The point is. Go find out yourself, talk about things if you re unsure and dont assume things, when you dont know them. Dont judge others without considering the background. Sometimes its also just a bad or a good day that led to an unexpected reaction. Of course, you dont have to talk about everything, which i will get to in just a moment. Its just important that you dont rely on others people stories, while also dont tell stories about others, where you dont know whats actually going on. Dont provoke others or dont have prejudices, because then you will almost certainly perceive things the way you want them to look like.

Coming to the non-verbal communication. Like I said before, people will give you messages, without speaking and it might just be by the simplicity of a single smile. A single smile might brighten another persons day. Holding the door open for someone, getting out of the way for people, doesnt cost us a lot of energy, but it can show respect and lead to others doing the same thing as they might notice the difference. If we stand tall or hunched, it will make a difference, especially if combined with words, make sure you send the right message.

All in all. The most important part of all communication is that we are actually aware of it. When you talk to someone, really talk to that person. When you see someone, look at the person. When you care about someone, show that person. Make sure you re aware of whats going on. Listen, Watch and Perceive, cause there is so much more out there than most of us see in this rushed world. We multitask, we small-talk, we become superficial. But at the end of the day, we might be succesful in what we do careerwise, but we re all alone inside, cause there is no warmth inside of us.
If we take the time to really listen to the answer of "how are you", if we look at the eyes of a person, while speaking to them, if we take the time to care about the people we talk to, only then are we really alive.

Dont be that person everyone remembers for being cold, be the person that everyone remembers for being warm. For always having that smile to lighten another persons day.

To end this, maybe in parts confusing entry (hoping it will get the right message across, but i m afraid not) here is another quote :

Ernest Hemmingway : "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen."

So wherever you are, when someone asks you: "how are you?" and you answer "I m good and you?" Then actually take the time and listen to what they have to say......

Or if you meet someone you care about you might even share a hug, as it is just a simple gesture, but it might go a long way in showing the person that you care.

All the best,