Wednesday, April 16, 2008

So this is it? This is life?

So this is it? This is life?Some of you may know. A couple of years ago I had a blog called leavean impression. It had the subtitle, which went a little something likethis : This is it. This is life. It was a quote from the movie."Garden State" Kind of a strange movie, but none the less it wasinteresting.Anyways. Why I m writing this today is, because this morning, when Iwas going to work and listening to my old lifehouse CD, I kind of gotthinking. I guess it was because after a very long time, I got up thismorning because I was fully rested, not because my alarm woke me up.Anyways back to the story. So I started thinking about life ingeneral, why are we here, what is going on in our life and what isbothering us. Why do we even live?And no this doesn't have anything to do with the rough stretch I vebeen going through the last couple of weeks. Yes its been quite hardon me, but I think I ve finally settled again or maybe I m justblinding myself again by overloading myself with stuff.Anyways things have really been looking up.
The reason why I m writing today is that sometimes I still wonderabout life. Is this really all there is? Is this what we are livingfor. Sometimes I cant believe it is, cause if it was, then our lifedidn't have any reason. Are we really here to wake up every morning,go to work, come back home, do something for a couple of hours, go tosleep and that's it? I mean of course we go out, we have fun, but isour whole life just designed to keep ourselves busy or happy, or maybejust keep ourselves busy, so we don't get sad?
Maybe I am too ambitious or put it in better words, used to be tooambitious, cause now it seams like there is not much else to do. Iused to be one of those people who thought he was meant to make adifference. Don't get me wrong. I know I ve influenced lots of people,but only to a minor extent. I really wish there was more I could doand make a better impact. I guess part of it is also cause I m toolazy to get up or do something. Maybe I just want everything to fallinto place and be brought to my hands. But somehow it doesn't seemlike its working that way.What can I do? What should I do? I ve travelled the world looking foranswers, I ve tried out lots of jobs looking for answers. I ve talkedto people from all different nationalities and backgrounds looking foranswers, but all I get back to is nothing. I m left with no answers.
If someone out there knows the answer, please let me know and get meout of this constant thinking process, which is driving me crazy.Or maybe I should just be satisfied with what I have.
Take care,

Sorry if this is nonsense, or weird. I wrote this today at work and i didnt really proofread and as always I probably wasnt able to capture my thoughts into words

anyways...better luck to all of you out there